Uirebit Author

After just three glasses, I’m already chummy with the Frenchman. It feels like we’ve known each other forever. Vive la France! The French are good guys. The best! The cream of Europe. With this occasion, our tongues loosen, and I quickly find out why Jean-Louis is upset with women. It’s clear: his girlfriend dumped him … Read more

“Santé!” he says and raises the bottle towards me, then sucks down everything in it like a baby. I sigh and utter clumsily: “Me don’t understand at you!” “I said ‘cheers’!” he shouts in English. “Me don’t understand you!” I say impassively. “Not English! Not at all English! Zero.” “Oh, really?” he laughs. “Are you … Read more

It’s the eleventh day since I’ve been here, in this forgotten corner of Thailand. The bartender was right: this is Paradise on Earth.  This is where Adam and Eve were banished from. Sun, sea, and relaxation. Good Lord! Paradise! In eleven days, I haven’t been sober for even a single minute. The drinks flow abundantly … Read more

This is the second time in my life I’m disembarking from an airplane. Thank you, Air Asia! It’s nice to descend alive from a plane. I could get used to this. I didn’t really know it, but it seems like I have flying in my blood. I didn’t have any emotions, no fear of flying. … Read more

I step outside into the sun and look for a taxi. I find one. I am terribly proud of my new look. I look like a true tourist. Actually, I am indeed a true tourist. I just need a shower, as my skin is itching from all the sweating. But why a shower? I’ll go … Read more

The Chiang Mai Airport isn’t much bigger than the one back home. However, it’s much more crowded. What scares me is that every creature here seems to know exactly what to do and in which direction to go.  Unlike me. I need to find something to do. I need to get rid of this feeling … Read more

The bus stops right next to the airplane’s stairs. Oh my God, this iron bird is huge. It’s the first time I’m so close to an airplane, and the spectacle is overwhelming. My knees go weak. I barely manage to climb the stairs. “Welcome aboard!” Wow, my first stewardess! She’s so cute! Here’s an excellent … Read more

I’m at the airport, and for the second time, I’ve got both kidneys with me. I’m such a lucky guy! Ana didn’t warn me that her younger sister is as big as a tractor. Somehow I managed to escape the room and run down the stairs without fracturing any bones. Now that’s what I call … Read more

“Who are you?” It’s the second time she’s asked me, and yet I’m unable to give her an answer. Right after she woke up, she rushed to the bathroom without looking left or right. She vomited. And vomited again.  Then vomited once more.  As she retched and strained, I assumed she wanted to vomit herself … Read more

I look to my left. Ana is awake, looking back at me. “Aren’t you asleep?” “No,” she babbles, her breath surrounding me in waves of brandy. “Why?” “You know why.” “I have no idea why, but I’m dead tired.” “Oh, stop with this sleep nonsense,” she suddenly snaps in a drunk tone. She turns around … Read more