We all perk up our ears.
“Are you sure, Eva?” I ask. “Absolutely sure? Look, the moment has arrived, and nothing has happened. What kind of German calculation did you do? Are you sure you calculated correctly?”
The three of us are in the back, at the tail of the plane.
“I’m not sure. It depends on how much fuel the aircraft had,” the girl responds after thinking for a moment. “Anyway, it seems our arrival time has passed. By four minutes.”
“That means we should be seeing the coast of Malaysia. It would be logical to see the coast. I stand up cautiously and look through each window one by one, first on the left and then on the right. Nothing. Blue water everywhere. I go to the front. From the cockpit, the same endless blue expanse is visible. The girl comes next to me.
“Tell me honestly,” I ask, “did you mess around with the controls? Did you touch them? Did you blow on them?”
“I didn’t touch anything,” the girl responds a bit annoyed and points to the dashboard. “Of all that’s here, I only touched the headphones and the microphone. I only adjusted the radio.”
“Then I don’t understand anything anymore!” I grumble angrily. “This autopilot should have taken us straight to Kelantan. Where the hell is Kelantan?”
I glance at the dashboard clocks and see that we have the same speed and altitude. Nothing has changed.
“Eva, do you have any idea where the fuel gauge is? How much fuel do we have left?”
“I don’t know,” she responds thoughtfully. “I can’t tell.”
“It would be interesting to know what each lever indicates. I wonder if this aircraft control works the same as a car’s steering wheel. Like, ‘Turn right, go right’? And what are these small, colorful, crooked levers for?”
“I think you should just leave them as they are.”
“But I’m not touching them. I was just asking. Look, this button, for example, seems to be placed here specifically to be pressed. It’s bigger. It must be important. What does ‘PTRW’ mean? Probably, if we press…”
“Probably, we’ll both get out of here and head straight to the queue. Right now!”
“But why are you so agitated?” I say surprised. “It doesn’t hurt to experiment a little, does it?”
“Leave the buttons as they are. Come on! Now!”
The girl grabs my arm and pulls me like an enthusiastic German policeman. Halfway there, I stop abruptly.
“Come on!”
“Be quiet for a moment!” I shout, frightened. “Listen!”
I raise a finger, then slowly turn to the nearest window. The right engine hums somewhat strangely. I analyze the propeller for a while. It spins. Still.
We all look at the windows. Both the left and right propellers spin just like before.
Maybe it was just my imagination.
“I didn’t…” The doctor looks at his hands and trembles like a leaf. “I meant,” he continues, “that I don’t think the pilot fueled up with an exact amount of fuel. Usually, it’s normal to have more fuel, right? I mean, a reserve. Logically?”
“Yeah,” I say nervously. “And what happens when the reserve runs out?”
Silence falls.
I feel like courage is leaving us all.
This waiting is terrifying. I look at them and get even more scared when I see them: both are as pale as a sheet. The German bites his upper lip. Probably, my face doesn’t look too good either.
After the third attempt, I manage to light a cigarette. I stretch out the pack to them and offer cigarettes, but I drop them, scattering them on the floor. My hands don’t listen to me anymore.
I inhale deeply and calm down a bit. Enough to realize that time is passing unrealistically slowly. Everything moves as if in slow motion. Time ripples. I rub my eyes.
“It’s not from my eyes,” I whisper. “It’s real. God, I wish it would end! Why does time pass so slowly?” I suddenly scream. “Why aren’t we dying? I feel like I can’t take it anymore. Hey, you two, listen to me for a moment! I suggest we speed up and steer the seaplane directly into… into the water.”
“Are you crazy?” the man jumps.
“I’m not crazy, buddy. But this waiting is killing me.”
“It’s clear,” he says shortly. “You’re insane. Stay there, by those bags. Don’t come near! From now on, none of us enters the cockpit. None of us.”
I’m not crazy. He’s wrong. I’m painfully lucid.
I look at the miserable man with brotherly understanding. These two are the last people I’ll ever see. Shouldn’t I love them? They’re my suffering brothers.
“It’s pointless, kids!” I smile at them. “None of us knows how to land this piece of junk on the sea, and nobody answered us on the radio. Around us, everywhere… there’s just water and more water. And we’re two kilometers high.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” the doctor snaps nervously. “If you touch the controls in the cockpit, you’ll have to deal with me!”
“I’m not touching anything. I’m just trying to explain to you guys that, come on, it’s stupid to wait. We need to… do something, to… to…”
“To what?” the girl asks. Her black eyes seem even darker now. “Why do you want to crash the plane?”
“Because it’s pathetic to cling to life like desperados. It’s stupid.”
I look at them and try to explain, to win them over:
“Our problem is very simple: we’re going to die. I know it, you know it! But for God’s sake, why die a thousand deaths before we truly die? Do these minutes mean so much to you two? What’s better? Holding hands and screaming in terror as the plane crashes, or deliberately crashing the plane and shouting ‘Banzai’ with our arms up?”
“You disgust me!” the doctor yells. “Half an hour ago, you were trying to tell us about Jesus, and now you want us to commit suicide as a group! Don’t listen to him, Eva. He’s insane! He wants to kill us!”
“Do you prefer to be eaten by sharks?” I ask, nervously laughing. “Do you find that more uplifting?”
“Maybe he’s right!” the girl intervenes.
The doctor jumps to his feet as if struck by lightning. He stands between us and the cockpit, throwing us fierce glances.
“Don’t be fooled, Eva!” he pleads. “These kinds of maniacs can spout a bunch of nonsense and still be very, very convincing.”
He turns to me and says, “Mein Herr, we’ll survive even if this contraption falls apart! Do you understand? I feel that we’ll survive. Today won’t be my last day! It’s not over yet. I feel it, do you understand?”
We look at each other in silence.
“I suggest we vote,” I say calmly. “I’m for ‘Banzai.’ But what about you? I already know your opinion, Doctor. Maybe this girl has more courage. Eva, I understand that’s your name. Vote, Eva! Banzai or no banzai?“
“Fine,” the German says with drooping shoulders. “Let’s let Eva decide. Let her decide!”
We both look silently at the girl.
Eva looks at her traveling companion and says with a strange gentleness:
“My choice is already made, Herr Doctor. Don’t worry. If you hadn’t been here, I would have gladly voted for ‘Banzai,’ but now… I choose to wait.”
“What are we waiting for?” I grumble. “The Holy Trinity? You disappoint me, Eva, seriously. What are we waiting for?”
“Whatever,” she replies. “Whatever it is.”
“Thank you, Eva,” the doctor says, relieved.
“Very noble!” I shout angrily. “An uplifting moment, I must say. All that’s missing is trumpets and drums. Damn it! The Germans stick up for each other. As usual.”
“Shut up!” the girl bursts out. “You’re talking nonsense. Sit down and shut up.”
“I’ll shut up, damn it! From now on, I won’t say another word! Shut up! And I won’t move from this spot. Cowardly Germans! Shut up! That’s it, shut up.”
No one speaks anymore.
Minutes pass one after another, and I smoke cigarette after cigarette. I don’t know how much time has passed, but finally, I have no more cigarettes, so I stare at my empty pack that says ‘Thank you for choosing Marlboro.’ Filthy capitalists!
“I don’t think we’ll sink,” the German mumbles to himself. “These seaplanes are specially built to float. Even if they fall apart, I don’t think we’ll sink.”
He suddenly stops, frightened, and listens intently.
“What’s that?” he says with a lost voice. “Didn’t one of the engines stop?”
I stand up calmly and look out the window.
Yeah. The right engine died. The propeller moves strangely. Then it stops.
“Bravo,” I say grinning. “Here comes the show. You didn’t want ‘Banzai’? Wet your pants out of fear. It’s better this way. Now the left engine is going to go. What the hell… to die so young next to two idiots!”
In less than a minute, the left engine coughs. The propeller swings back and forth, then stops. I look down. The sea seems calm. There are some waves, but there’s no storm, no night.
Remember? You might find that the German is right. Maybe we won’t die today.
I wonder how cold the waters of the Pacific are. Are there sharks down there? Are there big ones, Great Whites? I guess we’ll find out very soon.
It’s obvious that the aircraft is losing altitude. I just hope it doesn’t tilt to one side. Lord, please don’t let it tilt! If it tilts…
“Do you feel it too?” the girl asks.
“What?”
“Don’t you feel anything?” she adds, pointing at the floor.
We all look at the floor. It mesmerizes us. The luggage starts to slide toward the front. The doctor has tears on his cheeks.
“Everyone, fasten your seat belts!” the girl shouts. “Quickly!”
I jump quickly onto a seat at the back of the seaplane, tighten my belt as tight as possible, and lean forward as much as I can. Lord, please help me! If you help me, I promise that…
I promise that…
“Heeelp!”
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