I think I’m dead.
I don’t feel anything anymore. Around me, there’s neither water nor wind. I don’t have a body anymore. I don’t exist.
And if I don’t feel my body anymore, the conclusion is clear: I’m dead.
Maybe I melted into the ocean. If that’s the case, then the salty water is my body, and the sharks in the water are also my body, so they won’t attack me. It would be like attacking themselves. It would be nonsense.
Everything beneath me is a blue illusion. The vast bed of water that keeps rising and falling, then rising again… it’s all a crappy illusion. A lie. It’s dark all around. Up and down. Total darkness. The moon is no longer visible, not even a single star.
Is this what Hell looks like? Darkness heavier than tar and nothing else?
Yes, I’m afraid that’s what death must be like.
“Wasser!”
If I hear the girl talking, it means my ears aren’t dead. They’re all I have left: two ears poking out of the water. The girl’s voice and the constant splashing of water are part of my personal hell. It seems like there are thunderstorms in the distance.
“Wasser.”
I think the girl is living her last moments. She’s delirious. Her words interspersed with moans are in German. Then comes crying and sighs, and again words in German.
Always German!
I hate the German language. I’m glad I never learned it. If I understood every word the girl said, I’d probably have gone insane long ago.
I want to tell her to stop, but it would be a useless waste of energy. Every word sticks in my throat and causes a bloody wound there. Only a groan escapes my lips.
“Wasser.”
Hmm… If she wants water, why doesn’t she drink the salty water and be done with it? After that, she should just shut up for good.
What irony! There’s so much water everywhere, so much bitter water around me, and I can’t touch it. During the day, I’ve tried to drink this brine a few times. I spat it out immediately. It’s the saltiest water I’ve ever tasted. How do fish live in this water?
Maybe she’s already drunk salty water. Maybe it’s better for her that she’s lost her mind. If salty water makes you lose your mind, then I’ll drink as much as I can too.
“Wasser.”
“D… d… damn!”
I can’t stand her senseless crying and babbling. I absolutely need to get rid of her.
Yes! Let everyone go their own way.
I try to do it, but my arms are paralyzed, they refuse to listen to me anymore. If I could break the ties between us, it would be a blessing. I shouldn’t have saved her. I was an idiot! It was a mistake. You bring me bad luck! You, witch with black eyes!
Only you!
If it weren’t for you, none of this crap would have happened. From the moment you threw that look at me, everything started going wrong for me, and the people around me started dying. Because you’re a damned witch, a creature from hell.
Something touches my leg again, and I scream with all my might. Something… what?
Is it Death? Is Death lurking beneath the water?
Oh God, I was joking when I said I wanted to die! How can you believe all the nonsense I say? Please, don’t listen to me anymore!
My head hurts, and that means I’m not dead. I have a head, and it hurts. I know the sharks were scared by my screams and ran away. I know I have a head on my shoulders. I know I’m alive.
I open my eyes slightly and look at the sky. Somewhere, high up, very far away, a little white light flickers, then disappears. Then it flickers again, then disappears. I could swear that up there, at about ten thousand meters, there must be a plane.
Those people on the plane have no idea how lucky they are. What a fantastic thing! To have your bottom seated on a firm chair and your feet firmly on the floor. That’s called pure happiness!
I close my eyes and imagine myself among the passengers. I’m really there. I hear the hustle and bustle. I’m among them, and I’m happy.
I lean my chair back and order all kinds of soft drinks. Because I’m alive and I have money.
I’m rich!
“What does the gentleman want?”
I look at the stewardess and smile happily. She’s so cute! The uniform suits her fantastically.
“The gentleman wants many things,” I say and then wink at her. First and foremost, the gentleman wants a cold tea with two ice cubes. In each ice cube, I want a refreshing mint leaf.
“Very well. Anything else?”
“Then, you go and bring me some mineral water from the fridge. And I also want, listen carefully, stewardess, I want a large glass of apple juice. Still with ice cubes, but without mint.”
“Is that all?”
“No. Wait! I want something else. At the end, when I signal to you, bring me a tray full of a hundred ice cubes so I can put them in my mouth and suck on them one by one until I’m satisfied. And then, we start over!”
“That’s what I’ll do, sir,” she says, carefully noting it down on her notepad.
“Bravo! That’s the way to do it!”
“Hilfe!”
Huh? What’s ‘hilfe’? Where’s my tea with ice?
Hilfe? What the fuck? Hilfe?
Aha, that’s one of those German words I know. It means “help.”
“Hilfe!”
The plane has disappeared. The stewardess has disappeared with her notepad. My order is gone to hell.
Now I feel very clearly that if I hate anyone in this world, it’s Eva! Why did she scream “hilfe”? It’s not nice to disturb people ordering mineral water with ice. Now I’m going to untie myself from you, you witch, and I’m going left, towards the plane, and you’re going right, towards the sharks.
German bitch! You stole my mineral water! Why did you steal my waaater? Why?
Oh, I’m so thirsty! I dip my head underwater and take a gulp of this liquid. It’s salty and burns my throat. Hell!
I won’t live to see tomorrow. I feel like death is near. If I concentrate, it will come.
Suddenly something bursts behind my eyes. I see all sorts of colored lights.
Something hits my heel, and I scream like a stabbed man:
“Sharks! Sha… sharks!”
The girl screams too. She’s very close to me. Her screams scare me more than the sharks. I stretch out my arms and grab her. She’s my lifesaver.
“Help, Eva! Sharks! Help me!”
She tries to struggle, but I hold her tightly. It’s as if we were one body, one life jacket, one person.
“Shaaarks!” I cry, and my tears make the waves even saltier.
Eva screams too. I look into her eyes and cry like a child:
“We’re going to die! I swear I felt a shark. I swear it hit me with its tail!”
I’m so scared that I let go of her and start moving my arms frantically through the water.
“Don’t leave me, Lord! Help! Evaaa!”
The girl screams and mutters something in her German:
“Vater unser, der Du bist im Himmel, geheiligt werde dein Name…”
“Shut up, you idiot!” I shout, crying. You brought us here. Only you attracted them with your babbling!
“Unser tägliches Brot gib uns heute und vergib uns unsere Schuld,” she sighs, crying.
“So? Yeah? Well, just wait… I’ll be damned if I don’t tear you in two like a reed!”
She doesn’t pay the slightest attention to me. She keeps blabbering in her bird language.
“Und führe… uns nicht in Versuchung sondern erlöse uns von dem Bösen! Amen!”
Immediately something touches the soles of my feet. It hits me right in the soles! That devil under the water has rough skin. I jump up from the water, then come back down, and the devil hits me again.
This time my soles remain stuck to its rough skin, which scratches me. I hit back underwater. I stretch both legs at once and hit hard on the scum beneath me. I raise my hands. The water only reaches my chest.
“It’s not a shark!” I scream, crying. “It’s a whale! We’re on a whale, Eva! A wha…”
Suddenly, a thought strikes me from head to toe. I become entirely lucid. What’s this? You’re standing on sand, you idiot, on sand! There’s no whale, you fool!
It’s dark. The waves are big and keep moving me, but I manage to keep my position. I’m standing up.
“Eva, it’s sand!” I shout. “My God, we’re saved! We’re on a sandbank!”
I hold her close to me. I hold her tight like a madman. Half a minute ago, I was about to kill her, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Together we’re heavier, and I’m not going to lose the sand under my feet.
“It’s sand, dear girl! Sand!”
The waves push us back and forth. All night long, I make superhuman efforts to stay close to the sandbank and keep our feet on it.
Towards morning, with the first streak of light, my eyes begin to see something.
It’s good.
The first thing I notice is the trees.
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