My prayers have been answered. The clouds gather threateningly on the horizon. It will rain, and there will be water. Yes, plenty of water!
In the distance, lightning already scars the horizon. I feel the wind intensifying.
I open the other life jacket and try to improvise a kind of bucket out of it, but it doesn’t really look like a bucket. Even so, I will collect every drop of rain and drink to my heart’s content.
Come rain, come!
* * *
Water flows from all sides. The cauldron is almost full, my improvised bucket is full and hanging from a branch, my stomach is full, almost bursting from all the water I managed to drink.
This warm rain has been going on for two days and shows no sign of stopping. That’s wonderful. Less wonderful is that the big waves are roaring furiously and have destroyed all our traps. Goodbye fish.
The wind is so fierce that it has overturned the shade and thrown it far into the waves.
I have nothing else to do. I sit quietly on the sand and let the water flow in torrents over my scalp, then down my back. I have nowhere to shelter from either the rain or the lightning.
I open one eye and amusedly see, somewhere to my left, an Eva frightened by the elements of nature. That tiny creature, lying on the sand, trembling like a leaf, is no longer Eva. With each thunderclap, her thin and fragile body jumps up like a ball. Maybe I would laugh if the spectacle didn’t seem so pathetic.
Why is she so afraid? A lightning strike is much more merciful than a shark.
Her business. Let her be afraid, Tiberiu. The time has come for her to pay dearly for all the crap she’s put you through in the last few days.
“Are you afraid of lightning, Eva?”
Useless. She can’t hear me because of the wind.
I stand up and run along the beach, like a dog off its leash. The rain chases me from behind, and along with it, I compete with the waves and circle the island.
“Yee-haw! Woo-hoo-hoo! It’s amazing! Thank you, Lord!”
I adore the rain and lightning, I’ve fallen in love with them. The warm drops of the monsoon wash both my body and soul, and after all that running around, I feel as clean and fresh as a newborn. I return to Eva and flop down on the wet sand.
I’m tired, but happy.
“Look around you too!” I shout drunkenly. “Look at all this beauty, Eva!”
Every lightning bolt illuminates everything around. The landscape seems suddenly immersed in a milky white glow.
I run away from Eva and plunge into the water. I splash around in the turbulent waves, then come out and roll around on the sandy beach until I’m dizzy and fall in a heap.
I return to Eva and gasp:
“Do you know what I love most about this island? That you can’t drown. You can go far from shore and still be only knee-deep in water. The depth of the water doesn’t suddenly increase, doesn’t scare you. For a stretch of about a hundred steps from the shore, you can’t drown even if you want to.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself!” she yells with a frightened face. “Do you like this too?” she asks, pointing to the beach.
The waves have penetrated deeply onto the shore, bitten hard into the beach, and washed everything away. The landscape is completely transformed. I look at the beach, then at the girl, and can’t believe how small she has suddenly become.
She’s so scared. She has the look of a child.
“Oh, Eva, what a face you have! If you could see yourself… Girl, why are you so afraid of lightning?”
Eva starts to cry, and all my good mood melts away. I pick her up from the ground and wipe the sand off her face.
“Come here! Come on, come… Stop crying.”
I hold her close, lift her face to mine, and clearly see her black and frightened eyes.
“What a child you are! It’s just some lightning.”
Every time it thunders, she clings even tighter to me.
“It won’t last long!” I shout in her ear. “By the way, Happy New Year! Today is January first, dear Eva. Happy New Year! What plans do you have for the new year?”
Her mouth tries to say something, but I don’t hear anything. I just watch her lips move. I’m fascinated by those little lips. The way they move without making a sound enchants me.
Without realizing what I’m doing, I lower my lips and meet hers. Her lips taste salty. I taste them. Yes, they’re salty.
Eva puts her palm on my chest and pushes me gently.
“No.”
* * *
Oh, God, how much I hate the rain!
What the hell?!
It’s raining day and night.
Even Eva has gotten used to the lightning and thunder and all this racket. And she’s forgotten her fear and started walking carelessly on the beach. Every now and then, she flinches when the thunder is too close.
She approaches me, sits on the sand, and says to me:
“Stop it already!”
“But I didn’t do anything!” I defend myself.
Eva threatens me with her finger and tells me with a very serious expression:
“Stop acting like a beaten dog. Don’t make that face and don’t avoid me.”
“But I’m not avoiding you,” I grumble angrily. “Where did you come up with that?”
“I’m not blind, Tiberiu. Is it really that important to you?”
“What exactly?” I ask, nose down. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Eva sighs and says nothing. She sits quietly beside me and watches the waves.
“Okay,” I finally say. “Here’s the thing… ‘No’ means no! I can understand that. Let’s close this chapter. It’s embarrassing.”
“And it’s embarrassing for me to see you all day giving me looks like a beaten dog. If you really want to kiss me, go ahead… I’ll let you kiss me, but promise me that afterwards you’ll get back to normal.”
I feel revolt building up inside me. I look at her coldly.
“I wouldn’t kiss you even if you were the last woman left after a nuclear apocalypse! I don’t even like you. You’re a freak of nature. And small… and damned. And, while we’re at it, where the fuck have you ever seen a blonde German with black eyes? You’re a genetic accident.”
“Ha, ha! Seriously?”
“Very serious! Me… kiss you? You make me laugh.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re not mad at me,” she says, smiling. “But you do have some reasons to be upset, don’t you?”
“Well, of course I do!” I reply mournfully. “It’s January third today. This rain has been going on for almost a week! You know what I think? I’m afraid the rainy season has started in this part of the world. These damn yellow ones only have two seasons: one with rain and one with drought.”
In the afternoon, I manage to trick a small fish, but I can’t cook it. No way to make a fire. Everything around is wet.
I take the fish, clean it, gut it, and offer Eva half of it. Mmm, it may be small, but it tastes good.
“And… what about you?” I ask, chewing. “Why are you so afraid of lightning?”
“Don’t you fear them?”
She seems lost in thought.
“I’m not afraid,” I tell her honestly. “Why should I be afraid? A million volts passing through your brain isn’t the worst way to die. It’s simple: BANG! and you’re down. Electric shock could be a blessing in disguise.”
Eva looks at me for a long time and seems a bit hostile, then suddenly asks me:
“What’s your earliest memory? I mean, your very first, oldest memory. What is it?”
“Oh, nothing special,” I reply and fall into thought. “First memory? Hmm… I think I was about four years old. Why?”
“Just curious. Tell me.”
I try to refresh my memory. What could it be?
“Well, yes, I was about four years old. Uh… I remember I was in the bathroom, in my parents’ house. I was alone. Dad was pouring concrete outside, he wanted to make a sidewalk. Mom… I think she was cooking something or I don’t know anymore. Anyway, I was alone there, in the bathroom, holding onto the sink with my little hands. I was looking up.”
“Why?”
“I thought it would be absolutely wonderful if I could reach the window that was open right above me.”
“And did you reach it?”
“In the end, yes. I was a creative child even at the age of four. I grabbed onto the sink, climbed onto the edge of the tub, put one foot on the soap dish on the wall, and pushed myself up. The window was right above me. Victory! I was holding onto the window sill wide open.”
“And?”
“After that, it was easy. I went out the window headfirst and fell straight on my head on the concrete. I said to myself, ‘Hey, this is my first memory!’ and then I passed out.”
Eva looks at me amused.
“So you fell on your head when you were little?”
“Yeap.”
“That explains a lot,” she says with twinkling eyes.
“Maybe,” I reply grumpily. “But you, girl? What’s your oldest memory?”
“Are you sure you want to know?”
“Not really, but you’ll probably tell me anyway. That’s why you asked me, right? So I could ask you. Come on, I’m asking.”
“You’re right,” she says, smiling. “My first memory is related to electricity and household appliances.
I was only three years old, but I remember everything so clearly, it’s as if it happened yesterday. I was in a very large store, with lots of colors and shelves. There were all sorts of goods and appliances there.
I was sitting in a stroller, facing my parents, and Dad was pushing the stroller gently and talking to Mom.”
“Why?”
“Tiberiu… I was only three years old. How should I know?”
“Excuse me! Go on.”
“I remember my mother. My mother was a very beautiful woman and my father had eyes only for her. They looked into each other’s eyes. I also remember that, on that day, my mother was wearing a very light yellow dress.
“Like a lemon?”
“Exactly like a lemon. Oh, my mother looked wonderful and I loved her. But I didn’t pay much attention to my father.
“Come on, leave me alone! How do you remember that? You were only three years old.”
“I remember everything. Both my parents were very happy and cheerful that day, and I was absolutely amazed by everything I saw around me, all the products, the refrigerators, the vacuum cleaners, the televisions. It was like I had entered Wonderland. Those different and shiny colors were attractive to me. I was always reaching out my hands and gesturing to my dad to take me there, to go over there.
“You’re very lucky! Nice memory. Your father loved you very much, didn’t he? Did you feel loved?”
“Yes, I did. Daddy was delighted with me, and I felt how much he loved me. He would have bought the whole store for me if I had asked him to.
Anyway. That day, my parents bought only a washing machine, and after a not too long time, it was delivered to our house. They sent it with a truck from the store. The men in overalls carefully placed the washing machine in the corner of the kitchen. They took the old one with them and left.
I remember all this because I had a very good observation post. I was installed like a princess on a high chair in the kitchen. The chair had harnesses. It was bought especially for me and was built in such a way that I couldn’t fall off even if I wanted to.
Mom was feeding me with a sweet and good mashed potatoes, but I kept pushing the spoon away with my hands and was all eyes and ears towards the washing machine and towards dad who was still tinkering with something there, next to it. He was happy and talking all the time. I heard him say something to mom. He was probably telling her that everything was fine or something like that.
Dad then came to me, took the spoon happily from mom’s hand, and started feeding me and talking to me.
With the years I had, I didn’t understand everything that was happening at that moment, but I had eyes to see, and my mind recorded everything.
After he put clothes in the machine, he closed the lid, then pressed one of those buttons. At that moment, I saw her startle. She fell down with her hands tightly glued to the washing machine. Her body shook silently.
For me, what was happening was cheerful and amusing, so I giggled and pointed at mom.
Dad turned his surprised gaze and shouted, then threw the mashed potatoes. It fell with a clatter on the floor.
It didn’t last even a moment. When dad embraced mom’s body, I saw his legs suddenly break. He fell beside her, with clenched jaws. They remained embraced there, on the ground.
I have that image here, on my retina. I see them both. I see the embrace. It’s etched in my memory.
I was stuck in those harnesses on the high chair, otherwise I probably would have run over there, next to them, and hugged them. I wriggled. I started crying. Neither of them paid any attention to me.
By evening, my screams alarmed the whole building. I was hoarse from crying so much. After an eternity, someone broke the door, picked me up from my high chair, hugged me, and took me away. It’s my first memory. It might be an explanation for why I don’t like lightning. Electricity scares me.”
Eva doesn’t say anything more, and I feel like the most awkward person on this island.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be. You don’t have to. There’s no reason. They’re just memories! Maybe I shouldn’t have told you this. Hey, look at that!” Eva suddenly exclaims, looking up. “The rain has stopped.”
NEXT