"You can't sleep either?" Eva asks.
Well, look at that! She noticed!
Who the hell could sleep after something like that? I try to ignore her. She's a few steps away, stretched out on the sand, one hand under her head.
I picture how nice it would've been if we were on that big ship. Real food, a hot shower. Real soap. Real shampoo. And a real bed with real sheets, not this damn sand that gets in your ass.
"I'm hungry," she says in the same flat tone you'd use to say it's dark outside or the grass is green.
"Yeah, no kidding," I mutter, pissed. "I'm hungry too. Nothing we can do tonight. Maybe we'll eat tomorrow."
"Maybe," she confirms, not sounding like she believes it.
Or maybe we're both fucked. Who cares? The thought that a ship was that close to the island and I'm still here, shipwrecked, is driving me out of my mind.
"Those people probably wouldn't have turned around for us even if they'd seen us," I go on out loud. "Those floating monsters weigh tens of thousands of tons. They're hard to get going, and even harder to stop."
"You're right," Eva agrees, "but we can't lose hope. Can I come sit with you?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm bored," she explains simply. "Sun, water, sleep. Then sleep, water, sun. Nothing ever happens on this island."
"I'm not bored," I answer, annoyed. "Stay where you are. I'm not in the mood to comfort anybody tonight. I don't have the energy."
"You're mean."
"That's how I get when I skip meals. Mean. And hungry. I could eat anything. If you value your life, keep your ass away from me."
Eva gets up, brushes the sand off her thighs, then sits down right next to me.
"I knew you loved me," she says jokingly.
"On the contrary, I hate you."
"Same thing," she laughs. "Can I ask you something?"
"What now?"
"Let me put my head on your chest and, if you're a decent guy, hold me for a while. I'm really sad tonight. I don't want to be sad anymore."
I feel her warm cheek on my chest. Without meaning to, my arms lift on their own, wrap around her, and pull her closer. She's right. I feel better too, like this.
"You know I'm not hungry anymore?" I ask, amused.
"I know," she says with her eyes closed. "That's the 'Eva effect.'"
I breathe slowly. Her head rises and falls with my chest. I gently stroke her wheat-colored hair, then close my eyes. Her presence is so wonderful...
Above us is a giant moon. It bathes us in this unreal light. I've never seen the moon this close to Earth. It's insanely big. I feel like I could reach up and touch it. All I have to do is sit up and stretch my hand toward it.
"Eva," I whisper, "have you ever seen anything like this?"
She glances up at the sky, then sighs and presses her cheek even harder against me.
"No," she answers. "It has to be one of a kind. This must be the 'Tiberiu effect.'"
"I've never seen anything more beautiful."
"What's beautiful about it?"
"I don't know how to explain it. Down here it's me holding you, and up there it's the most beautiful moon I've ever seen in my life."
"Oh, what a beautiful scene," she giggles. "But weren't you telling me you prefer a fat woman with a big ass and big tits?"
"You're right. Get out of here! I think I've lost my mind."
She taps my chest lightly with her palm and starts laughing, but it doesn't sound like her laugh anymore. There's something... tense under that fake cheer.
If she wants what I think she wants, then she's caught me off guard. Anyway, boy, whatever you say, pick your words carefully. Try not to piss her off. If you piss her off again, you won't see her for days.
The thought of not seeing Eva for a few days is horribly unpleasant. I'll admit it, I like her presence. I like her warm breath on my chest and I like wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into me.
Her voice is a little hoarse:
"Do you love me?"
For fuck's sake, here we go again with her stupid questions!
"Yes," I say, sighing.
Her small hand starts making playful circles on my chest, then down my stomach. There's something warm and slow and soothing in that hand. I feel more alive than ever. Every nerve in my skin is tuned in to Eva's movements. I'm like a guitar, waiting for her to pluck my strings and tune me.
I breathe hard and close my eyes. Her hand goes lower. I stay still. A strange silence floats between us, but it's so sweet I never want it to end.
"So you're sure you love me," she repeats, and that crazy hand slips under the elastic of my briefs.
My fingers tremble as I stroke her hair. I kiss her lightly on the forehead.
"Yes," she whispers, victorious, and kisses my chest softly. "Judging by what I'm holding in my hand right now, it must be love. Do you like what I'm doing?"
"I like it," I rasp.
"Do you want to keep going?"
"Yeah, please," I whisper. "Don't stop."
"Okay. I'll keep going, but only if you tell me why you love me."
I freeze. What did I do wrong? Why do I only run into crazy women in my life? Why? Can't a girl just sleep with me--just like that?
Before I flew to Thailand, that chick at the hotel slept with me because she was drunk out of her mind. Not exactly something I'm proud of, but I could live with it.
But here, on this deserted beach, someone wants a big romantic speech so she can spread her legs. Isn't that just my luck?
"Are you kidding again?" I ask, uneasy.
Her hand down there stops dead.
"Not at all," she says calmly. "But if it bothers you to tell me why you love me, I can let you go back into the bushes. Alone."
"No, don't stop!" I say fast. "I'll tell you why I love you!"
Her palm feels too small for what she's holding, but--small or not--she manages to make me lose my mind completely. I want Eva! I want her now!
Fine, I'll tell her why I love her, but... nothing comes to mind. You'd better find something quick, Tiberiu, or else...
"I love you," I begin in a weak voice, "because..."
"Because?"
Because you're handling me like a damn goddess! Because you're small and wicked and you turn me on like nobody ever has... you devil! Because if I don't dive between your legs right now and get in you, I'm going to lose my mind!
"Because you're a wonderful girl," I sigh, dizzy. "Because sitting here beside you, I feel like I'm melting. Because, Eva, you have the most incredible black eyes that have ever looked at me, and every time I look into them I feel like my soul is meeting yours."
"You're serious?"
"Yes. And I want this--I want our souls and our breath to mix. I want to hold you because you're so beautiful you take my breath away. But even more than that, I love the other beauty, the hidden one, the beauty that radiates from you. Believe me: there's something hidden inside you, a wonderful spell that makes me want to caress you and stroke you, to forget myself. It's something new--it's the first time I've met a woman like you. I'd never get tired of touching your silky, soft skin, wonderfully soft."
"My skin? Is that all?" she asks, wrinkling her nose.
"No, it's not just that!" I say. "Look, even right now, when you wrinkle that little nose, you look even prettier and I want to bite it. Your nose and those sweet, beautifully arched lips. Did you know your lips smell and taste like a ripe, juicy pear? Here," I say, kissing her, "they're so incredible I can't get enough of them."
She kisses me back. Her face is red and her eyes are half closed.
"Tell me more," she whispers, purring like a cat.
I gently lower her onto her back in the sand.
"Look what you've done to me, Eva. I can't stop myself from kissing your beautiful breasts. Let me caress them," I beg. "I can't stop touching them. Can I bite them a little?"
"I don't know," she says, smiling with her eyes closed. "Can you? Try."
I kiss each breast like I'm dying of thirst and, for the first time, I truly realize how unbelievably beautiful this little creature is and--more than that--how feminine she is.
I'd do anything to be with her. I'd kill for her.
But even better would be to live for her.
"Come," she whispers, panting.
I yank my briefs off in one motion and throw them away.
I stop for a second and admire her body lying on the sand, quiet, waiting for me. A painting made by a mad painter. She's so delicate it makes me flinch and stare at her, amazed.
I feel like I didn't lie at all: she really is beautiful and I really do love her! The thought doesn't surprise me and it doesn't scare me. I accept it. I think anyone would love her. Yeah, it's either love, or the beautiful beginning of love.
I want to make love to her here, on this clean, warm sand. I want her to be mine and I want to be hers. I undress her with trembling hands and try not to move too fast. It's a spell. Don't break the spell, man. Slow. Everything happening here is too beautiful to rush.
Eva helps me silently with her clothes. I'm so shaken I don't think I could manage alone.
I kiss her thin, fine neck. My knees find their way between her thighs. What I want is there, between her thighs. I'm about to get what I want.
"Don't hurt me," she whispers in my ear. "It's been too long... Be gentle."
I nod that I understand and bury my mouth in one of her small breasts. It intoxicates me. Every touch makes me dizzier.
Her warm softness is in my palm. I part her gently, make room for me, then push slowly. That was it. That's what I wanted. The warmth wrapping around me is the sweetest reward.
"Ah!" Eva moans, then cries again: "Ah!"
I slide in and out twice, but her little cry makes me shudder and groan.
I stay pressed belly to belly against her and my whole body suddenly shakes. Life bursts out of me in hard waves, again and again, deep in that heat.
No way? Already?
I'm drained and I feel myself going... sinking. I open my eyes and rest my forehead lightly on the sand, hit by this black disappointment.
That's it?
Way to go, Tiberiu! You promise a lot, but you don't keep your word. You acted like a snot-nosed kid.
Eva nudges me gently aside. I lie down next to her, on my back.
"Sorry," I mumble, half tired, half ashamed. "I don't know what... I honestly don't understand what happened."
"Oh, nonsense," she says. "Why are you apologizing? It was... good. Did you like it?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Me too."
She's lying. I know she's lying. Does she think I'm stupid or what? Fuck, what a mess. How embarrassing; I made a complete fool of myself.
"But at least you love me, right?" she asks, teasing. "That's something."
"Of course!" I snap, biting my lip, irritated. "You're rich. Anyone would love you. Where the hell did I put my briefs? You didn't see them, did you?"
"Mmm... no. I'm going to wash," she says, and gets up.
I stay on the sand with my eyes closed, limp--literally and figuratively.
This closeness between me and her wasn't in my plans. I don't know if I should be happy or lose my mind. I'm on an island: I choose to be happy.
And still... what was that?
Because it definitely wasn't love.